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'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

Medical Cabinet

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"I knew you'd understand."

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

Psychiatric Clinic. I'm not sure giving a narcissist an hour a week where it's all about him counts as therapy.

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

Mathematician on the couch.

'I'm becoming predictable.'

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'