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40 minutes in this position

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Turn your head and laugh.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

Bernice Mountain Dog

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"No heroic measures."

'You are crazy, but in a NICE way.'

'Animal Psychiatrist' (a dog).

Laughter Therapy.

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'It's good to talk.'

"I guess I'll never understand women."

"I don't know how I'd make it through this without you." "Food."