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'If I strike a nerve, just blink your left eye, there's a good chap.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

'I'm becoming predictable.'

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

Mathematician on the couch.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'