Laugh-loving Health Heroes Gifts

'The anesthesiologist called sick. It is my duty to inform you that you will feel a little bit of pain during the appendectomy.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

Turn your head and laugh.

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

'Good lord, Mrs. Frost, how long has he been running a fever?!'

"...and the King Cholesterol Meal comes with a side order of CPR."

'She says she has a prenatal appointment.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

"At least you made it into the hallway."

'That reminds me - your hospital appointment is next week.'

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

'Well my lightest ever was 7lbs 4oz. . .'

"Guess who's shot to number one in the charts. The Cure."

'We can only offer you our basic dental plan: this dental floss and a pack of sugar-free gum.'

We can identify the genetic root of many problems... however your husbands being a long strak of water isn't one of them!

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

'I wonder if we're getting enough fibre?'

'No, Neville. I don't think anyone will ever open a burger bar around here. Now, finish your carrion!'

While singing the popular song, Clay was disturbed to discover that his thigh bone wasn't connected to his hip bone, that it was, in fact, connected to nothing.

You know you're middle aged...

'The bad news is you've got something no one's ever heard of...the good news is we're naming it after you!'

It's not catching, is it? - The doctor hates to catch things.

Ear,nose and throat clinic.

"Oh, the doctor told you not to work so hard, did he?... And does the doctor pay your salary?!"