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'Uh-oh.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Transylvanian backpackers.

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

Astral Projection

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

'Good night darling...sweet nightmares.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"It's only the wind."

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

Eyes on the Forest Floor

"If you sleep walk again tonight, make yourself useful, and take the dog with you."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"Your eels are enormous - where do you get them?"

'Go to Hell'

"Ahhhhh! Finally!" "Pssst. Don't do it. You're dreaming." "Don't go in there!"

Route 666

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

'Don't worry Dad, according to you he's just my imagination.'

Unbeknown to other, Thoreau would sometimes, in the middle of the night, sneak out for a few odds and ends.

"But wait, there's more."

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

Skating by torchlight on the Serpentine.

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'