Last Word Legend Gifts

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

Ted Hughes

'What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?'

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

'He said his first buzz word today!'

"Junior learned his first word today"

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

Leon Uris.

"It was my husbands dying wish to be buried in his herb garden."

"This is probably the most mature, astute novel of the last half century that I've just finished. Me want ice cream."

She's started, like, talking, and you're not gonna, like, believe what her, like, first word was!

I think she's about to say her first word!

Famous Last Wor...

Monday. Restaurant. Daily special. Steak. Tuesday. Hamburger. Wednesday. Homestyle meatloaf. Thursday. I know this is your favorite restaurant, and I guess it's okay to eat here again today ... but tomorrow we'll probably need to find someplace else to eat! Daily special. Cream of meatloaf soup.

A Guide to Mustaches

"The new chief doctor will be the one who manages to remove this sword."

"I'll never forget my father, near death, saying 'get me a pen... I'm going to change my will.' But it was Sunday, and all the stationery stores were closed."

'Get a pen and paper quick, I'm about to say something witty before I die!'

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

Man Karate Chops Stone To Get Sword Out.

'You can ruin the present worrying about how the past will affect the future.'

"I had to give up my secret identity—no more phone booths."

'Here. Perhaps Goldie can keep you company while you think up ideas for your novel, Mr. Melville.'

Librarian Parents

'Of course you know this means war.'

Lake monster? No, I'm just taking a bath!

How to make money for the apocalypse.

"The shrimp alfredo you made a few weeks ago?"

'My transplanted heart is 29, my transplanted kidney is 41, my transplanted lung is 38 and the rest of me is 59.'