Laser Pointer Expert T-Shirts

"I am trying to pay attention to you, but your little brother keeps distracting me with a laser pointer."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Throg, Destroyer of Worlds...and cat.

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'We dreamed of this day and it's finally here... Behold the 'anti-Sandler ray'!'

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

Let the profit-making begin!

'He's trained to the laser pointer.'

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

"Tab! Control yourself! For God's sake just look away!"

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

"There's a tattoo here that wants to have its person removed."

"Oh, ignore that. Penny likes to play with laser pointers."

'Well, yes, sometimes there can be side effects to laser eye surgery!'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

"Come on, what's Christmas without special effects?"

Laser Beam Playing Record.

"We'd never get these little dogies to Tucson without a laser pointer."

ACME Weapons, Inc. Next time explain to the Pentagon why their order is delayed. Don't just say "We can't tank you enough."

Expert and Ex-Pert

'It's not the boring company meetings that make me go crazy...it's those presentations with the laser light pointers!'

'It's supposed to be the most fun place on earth.'

"I love how science fiction movies feature these hi-tech laser pointers."

"Now, without chasing it, I want you to follow the laser dot."

"This is it, Mittens! The ultimate laser pointer!"

'Lingerie works, but I usually lure Doug to the bedroom with a laser pointer.'

"For a laser technician, you're not very focused."