Laser Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Maybe you should replace the super plantinum-iridium-cadmium batteries in your laser pointer with ordinary alkaline batteries.'

Laser Beam Playing Record.

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

The class was unusually quiet. Gribbins fingered his cane and coughed just once. Chalk-dust or asthma, nobody could tell. What was left of Jimmy Worthington sizzled quietly on the floor in front of the excimer laser...

"Of course, you've got to expect some side effects with Eye Laser Treatment."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

Epic Battles

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Hospital Departments

Throg, Destroyer of Worlds...and cat.

Musical Eye Test

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'Pretend you don't notice him.'

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

You need a new reading light

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

'So anyways, I got a great deal on a candle factory from this total sucker and,,, hey, watcha reading'

Illuminating agricultural production

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

Videographer. Zoom in. Zoom out.

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

"The side lenses will help you maintain visual acuity when looking askance."

Man lighting ceiling candle

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

'Sit down, Dave. You're not impressing anyone with your new laser-eye treatment.'

"Tab! Control yourself! For God's sake just look away!"

"Oh, ignore that. Penny likes to play with laser pointers."

'Well, so much for the ump. Higgins, go tell the P.A. announcer to warn the spectators about the irresponsible use of laser pointers.'

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

"Jessica could you call Tech Support and ask when the lazer was last calibrated please?"