Laser Tag Aficionado T-Shirts

'Lingerie works, but I usually lure Doug to the bedroom with a laser pointer.'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Epic Battles

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

"Ready. Aim. Pew! Pew!"

Throg, Destroyer of Worlds...and cat.

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

'We dreamed of this day and it's finally here... Behold the 'anti-Sandler ray'!'

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

Graffiti like

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

"Let's say that's better without, shall we?"

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

"Since Jesus keeps changing our names, I thought name tags would be nice."

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

'Sit down, Dave. You're not impressing anyone with your new laser-eye treatment.'

"Oh, ignore that. Penny likes to play with laser pointers."

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

'Well, so much for the ump. Higgins, go tell the P.A. announcer to warn the spectators about the irresponsible use of laser pointers.'

"Jessica could you call Tech Support and ask when the lazer was last calibrated please?"

'Well, yes, sometimes there can be side effects to laser eye surgery!'

"Come on, what's Christmas without special effects?"

Laser Beam Playing Record.

"We'd never get these little dogies to Tucson without a laser pointer."

'What do you mean the tailgate party was so fun you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home 2 weeks ago!'

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

The football preseason is a good time to review the rules of tailgating. Grabbing the ketchup when one person is handing it to another is "pass interference." Bringing salad instead of chicken wings is not allowed --- It's an "illegal substitution." "Piling on" is penalized on the football field, but not here at the tailgate party! And very importantly, in most places, we observe the "5-second rule" for dropped food. But here we have the "2-Minute Warning"! See, these fries are still good!

'It's not the boring company meetings that make me go crazy...it's those presentations with the laser light pointers!'