Laser Luminary Gifts

'We're testing a new drill-free laser system. YOu won't even need Novocain.'

Lennon and McCartney.

The Hobby Store

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

Throg, Destroyer of Worlds...and cat.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

James Russell Lowell

'We dreamed of this day and it's finally here... Behold the 'anti-Sandler ray'!'

Leonard Cohen.

'Marvelous Makeovers. Hair by Debby, Nails by Fawn, Laser surgery by Dora.'

Algernon Swinburne

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

'Lasik surgery is VERY affordable nowadays...UNLESS YOU'RE A FLY!'

Beet Poet

Support your local bookstore

"There's a tattoo here that wants to have its person removed."

"I think the lighthouse keeper is having a little fun with us, sir."

'Isn't it great to learn traditional skills passed down through the ages? Hand me the laser knife, please.'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"Oh, ignore that. Penny likes to play with laser pointers."

"I'm pretty sure the word you've used to describe the new Scrabble isn't allowed."

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

"It takes more to be a super accountant that you were a 'super accountant man' costume."

High School Science Project Competition

'What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

"Come on, what's Christmas without special effects?"

Laser Beam Playing Record.

'It's not the boring company meetings that make me go crazy...it's those presentations with the laser light pointers!'

'But, what if we break the genetic code and they just CHANGE it?'

"For a laser technician, you're not very focused."