Lasagna Connoisseur T-Shirts

Former opera tenor tells wife to bring more lasagna.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Trail mix?"

A Macaroni in 1772

The Main Types of Cheese

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

Italia tours

Cheese

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

The Running of the Brie

"Of course I love you more than cheese. What a silly question. In fact, cheese and I are just friends. Nothing's going on between cheese and me."

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Old Phones Lasagne

'Do you call this spaghetti'

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

Future Wrestler

'Has someone cut the cheese?'

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

Spaghetti Road

"Serves you right...snacking before dinner."