Las Vegas Trip Pillows

'What I really feel like doing is going back to our hotel room and playing gin rummy with you.'

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

Zombie standup

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"I can't even deal."

Welcome to Las Vegas - Forefront of the great American luck ethic.

Planning for retirement in a casino.

'That's the wine you want? I don't believe we have one with a label depicting you water-skiing naked in Vegas.'

He Keeps Touching Me.

'Hey, I'm having a pretty good streak here--how about you guys?'