Las Vegas Trip Pillows

'What I really feel like doing is going back to our hotel room and playing gin rummy with you.'

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

Zombie standup

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'You only said to bring home a feather duster. You never said what kind.'

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

'I was ahead the entire trip, until I took a shot at the double-or-nothing checkout option.'

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

"Yeah, but the one in Vegas has an endless shrimp buffet."

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

"So, does this mean that what happens in Vegas never should've even happened in the first place?"

Welcome to Las Vegas - Forefront of the great American luck ethic.

Planning for retirement in a casino.

"I can't even deal."

Twelvis

'That's the wine you want? I don't believe we have one with a label depicting you water-skiing naked in Vegas.'