Laptop Luminary Pillows

'The first step, Walter, is admitting that you're an internet addict.'

The Hobby Store

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Why do people think using big words is a bad thing?"

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"Negotiations are at a crucial phase. We're desperately seeking more ways to say 'no'.''

Internet Restaurant

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

James Russell Lowell

Algernon Swinburne

'Then it's agreed. It doesn't have to rhyme.'

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

"It's my turn to be 'work at home' parent, and your turn to be 'stay at home' parent."

'I think I may be lactose intolerant.'

Support your local bookstore

"I think the lighthouse keeper is having a little fun with us, sir."

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"It takes more to be a super accountant that you were a 'super accountant man' costume."

"The Bolsons are pleased to announce that their daughter, Naomi,is going to take another shot at marriage."

'I just got a friend request from someone in the castle.'

'What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

"I'm on a special diet; no school food."

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

'But, what if we break the genetic code and they just CHANGE it?'

'They'll have to better than that.'

'Oh how thoughtful...she's using the lap warmer to prepare for my arrival.'

"Gone are the days when Andy made the sort of money he'd get out of bed for."

'We're testing a new drill-free laser system. YOu won't even need Novocain.'