Lap-loving Pet Owner Pillows

'Mmmm...more laps to sit on...!'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

“Can I have her now? Hey! My turn.”

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

'It was worse than that ? I was slimed by a lawyer!'

Pet Owners' Date Night

"I believe we've entered the dark underbelly of pet ownership."

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

"You just blinked — I saw you blink first. OK, again. Ready? Go!"

To Doc who took care of me while I was alive...

'Don't you think you're spoiling that dog,Dorothy?'

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

"Oh no, Mother. The dog is curled up asleep."

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

'No I didn't cast Detect Evil to work it out! Let's just say I aced my Female Intuition roll...'

-'I'd like a doggy bag.' -'And make it a big one.'

'I told you to summon an orc, not a dork!'

'Intelligent! I'll say he's intelligent!'

"Grandma specifically said not to dig in the rhubarb patch."

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

"Can you come outside and help me. It appears Fido and I have tied the knot... "

101 uses of a dead cat: shoe scraper

Endurance

'If we didn't do so well in this easy box, they wouldn't have given us this complicated box.'

Dog dropping slippers out of the window.

"Remember laps?"

"Bad dog!"

'I've forgotten what I'm driving at."

'Now that's Hi-def!'

'They want me to exercise- so get me a squirrel to chase.'

'Maybe you shouldn't pet Ms.Puss so hard.'