Language Reform Champion Pillows

"We don't like the way you refer to them as 'hymns'."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

Free speech isn't cheap!

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

United Church of OMG

'Another thing?never use the term 'touchy-feely' as a negative.'

Ink in a prison made out of pens.

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

I defend to the death your right to say things I agree with.

"Hey buddy! Come over here and draw me something about 'Freedom of Speech!'"

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, transgender. . ."

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

Free Internet Access

"The creative writing part is that I've created new ways to spell words."

WEll, Mr. Thoreau, we're interested in publishing your views on government authority and personal freedom, but perhaps you could leave out some of the references to lima beans and turnips.

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Mike, did you just call me the B-Word, you fatherless good-for-nothing piece of excrement?'

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

Woe Befall the Linguistic Interloper

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

"From now on it will be God, the Holy Non binary, God the Holy Cisgender and God the..."

'I don't trust that guy.'

An old cliche comes under fire from yet another special interest group.

'It's outrageous to be labelling people 'bonkers' in this day and age...put this one on instead.'

Text Speak

Journalists in Egypt

Freedom of speech.

"There really is no need for confusion about the change in the enforcement of this law. Part 95 of section 33 of article Q in the manual quite clearly states ..."

His text said, I challenge you to pistols at dawn, and I replied, C U there, and he replied with a thumbs-up emoji – Do I have to reply to that?

Arizona Discrimination Law

The Sale

'What's going on? -- First you say we should show originality, and then you mark my spelling wrong!'

'Just make sure you keep to the straight and narrow,old chap!'

Raif Badawi