Language Innovator Pillows

'What's going on? -- First you say we should show originality, and then you mark my spelling wrong!'

"The creative writing part is that I've created new ways to spell words."

Boss, I've got a new idea. I think it'll quadruple our sales. Not again. We should stop spelling everything correctly. Nobody does that anymore. We should write our menus the way the country writes their tweets. That's the dumb -- wait … that's actually not one of your more horrendous ideas. Thx boss. M gonna take rest of day off k thx bye. Never mind what I just said.

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

'I wonder what it's like to text, 'OMG'?'

Text Speak

"Oh, it has to be la señorita, does it? Still trying to perpetuate the fiction of biological gender identity, are we?"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

The Family Joules: Part 21

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

'She posted her first blog today.'

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'