Language Creator Pillows

"Your doctor is obviously brilliant. Judging from the handwriting, she's created an entirely new language."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"How about a little more muse and a little less 'meow,' huh?"

'I just wanted to thank you for grounding me to my room for the weekend. I took the time to start a computer programming company, which earned me $13 million.'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

How a poet works

United Church of OMG

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

Creator's Block

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I find the easiest way to expand my vocabulary is to make up words.'

"All those in favor of saying 'It's a wrap' instead of 'Meeting adjourned' say 'Aye.' "

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

"The creative writing part is that I've created new ways to spell words."

'Our customer service was lousy, but from now on, we'll give the personal touch. Let's write to 'Hey lassies and dudes, what's up?'

"Can you recommend a good exercise program?"

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Mike, did you just call me the B-Word, you fatherless good-for-nothing piece of excrement?'

'I've made an app that counts farts...'

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

'This is truly one of the great poems in the language. Computerese, that is.'

God's Writers Block

'We don't call it 'plus size' anymore, we call it 'extra fun'.'