Language Barrier Explorer Gifts

'I'm only in the second grade, Bucky ... I don't know how to speak 'dog' yet.'

"My friend Bernarda fell this morning. But it's okay...it just bruised her poquito."

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

Famous Oxymorons...

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

A Semicolon.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"For today's lesson, you're going to teach me about pronouns."

"I didn't want you doing what you did on our last date."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

I ONIC. F. E. That group will be very different depending upon whether a "C" or "R" joins them in that second spot.

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.