Landscape Observation T-Shirts

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Painting clouds

Doing the borders.

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

Duck Hunt

Butterflies

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

Maximilian could see far away places,but he never told anyone.

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

The prying mantis,

The Adventures of God

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

What does aloof mean?

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.