Land Liberator Pillows

"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

No Mow May

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

The Speculators

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

'Come back, you fool! -- The Earth is three-fourths ocean!'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"Ed's security blanket. Two hundred and twenty acres!"

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

"But....but....isn't that a puff of cloud I see approaching?"

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

"What a relief."

"I've always had this dream of buying a little farm and then selling it off piece by piece."

"Whoa now, hold on hold on! I just wanted to read that sign there. I couldn't see it from the road."

'Aggressive Environmentalism'

'I'm sixty-five. I'm retiring from being a house wife!'

"How many acres do I have? What's an acre?"

"CLEAN MY LITTER BOX!"

'This is security. Looks like we have an escape from cubicle 36.'

"I was hoping you had no more territorial ambitions."

"Look, let's just be gender-neutral about this and build a snowperson."

"I appreciate not having a leash, but that bone is driving me crazy."

The First Thong of Spring

"I think the dog wants out"

Terrainspotters.

'Give a man a fish, he'll want dinner for life...Teach a man to fish, you'll have weekend's free!'

Smokers not putting their cigarette butts in the bin person so frustrated he puts the smoker in the bin

"I dreamed that I stopped doing your laundry."

Farm Shop - "I'd like a place in Wiltshire with about 200 acres."

And when he lands a fish, he will rarely kill it - but will watch it return to the water...Happy to see it free once more...to give sport to some Brother Angler.

'Homelessness does have its advantages - I haven't mowed a lawn for five years.'