Lakers Fan Gifts

Los Angeles Lakers' Kobe Bryant

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"How should we divide the teams?"

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

Chris Froome

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

Kobe Bryant

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

Sisyphus pushing a huge basketball up the hill

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

'Gotta cut your grade back for that.'

Turtle shooting baskets has rim on shell.

Putin and Obama.

"He just married me on the rebound."

The conversion.

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

'Just shoot! You're thinking about it too much!!'

Shaquille O'Neal donates his old socks to boy scouts.

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

"You're in the cartoon league now. You just have to pretend those little circles in the stands are actual people."

'This is really going to tarnish his legacy, Al.'

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten