Ladder Laughingstock Gifts

Man building a tree house

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

Upward Progress

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'You're going to have to work your way up to the ground floor like everyone else.'

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"The boss can see you now."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

Texturing the Walls

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

Building business relations.

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

'Here you are, Simmons!'

Ladder of Success.

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

"Firing is too good for you, Mike. I'm going to give you MY job instead!"

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.