Lactose Warrior Pillows

"I told you dairy was bad for your diet!"

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

'These literary duels really are most frightfully dull.'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

Your blood sugar is off the charts."

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

Clown with balloons to diabetic: 'Hey, could you take your shot over there?'

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

'You can have the cherry...I'm on a diet.'

Cow and Pig see 'Staff' logo reflected and read it as 'Fats'.

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Lactose is Good. Lactose intolerance isn't something you protest against, Ernie.

"Is it safe to assume that the meat is laced with antibiotics and the salad is chockfull of pesticides?"

Weight Loss Center on top of huge stairway used to get to the top.

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

'Here's your diet -- notice the two-minute warning.'

'Thank you for this food, and protect us from the additives and preservatives therin.'

The end of hibernation.

Zombie diabetes sites: When those dead spots on our body consume insulin like the ravenous undead.

'You are not losing weight! Put down the knife and fork and pick up the dumbbells!'

Amazing new parenting methods...No. 94, preventing obesity.

I'm not lactose intolerant. In fact, some of my best friends are disaccharide sugars.