Lactose Lenient Pillows

"I'm pretty lucky. I have a wife that tolerates both my lactose and bad habits."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

Search for Extraterrestrial Life. Ernie is working on a theory that alien life forms avoid the Milky Way galaxy because they're lactose intolerant.

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

'I think I may be lactose intolerant.'

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Well, my wife is lactose-maltose-dextrose-sucrose-cellulose intolerant, which means I can't even hand her an empty box of candy."

"Y' know, a GOOD host would provide a lactose-free option!"

"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

"She's diversifying her portfolio."

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

I'm not lactose intolerant. In fact, some of my best friends are disaccharide sugars.

New Milks

'I'm lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, vegan and allergic to tomatoes...what have you got that's good?'

Lactose Intolerant Goldilocks

'I always thought I was lactose intolerant.'

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

'Soy milk, soy burgers...who ever thought we could be replaced by a bean.'

'Milk, butter, cheese, ice cream...you have too much lactose tolerance.'

'I used to have milk in my tea. . .but then one day I had black tea and somebody tole me that 'once you've had black, you never go back.' I don't know why you never go back, but it turned out I'm lactose intolerant, so it's a moot point now. I guess.'

"This increase in lactose-intolerant people is good for us: We can sell more milk..."

"It started out with lactose, but now he's intolerant of everything."

Dan was becoming increasingly lactose intolerant.

"Er, um, no thanks. We're both lactose intolerant."

"I'm sorry Clara, it's over.....the Vet says I'm allergic to Dairy!"

Where do you draw the line? Goat milk. Goat cheese. Goat ice cream.