Laboratory Animals Pillows

Cats make lousy lab pets.

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

The life of penguins.

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

'Catch this!'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"Hey, at least you got a severance package."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'