Labor Analyst Gifts

The Miracle Worker

Zero Employment = Zero Unemployment

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

Trial by Media

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

The Life of Pi

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Six Thinking Hats