Lab Lover Gifts

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

'My research cover two fields: the behavior of matter under high pressure, and the behavior of scientists under high pressure.'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

'Oh no. More lab results.'

Control and Out of Control Group

'Our research shows that heredity and environment are both very significant, but that neither is as important as government regulation.'

"You can't keep running in here demanding date every five years!"

"Whatever it is, it's very, very little."

'I'm certainly in no hurry to find a cure and lose our grant.'

A candidate for a job in scientific research being tested for whether she is too impressionable for unbiased independent thinking.

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"That's just great. I discover the cure for the common cold and all you can do is criticize."

'It's all right.. he's a trustee.'

'I've forgotten what this experiment is all about.'

"That must have been the paradigm shift."

"You work in a lab! So you're some kind of scientist?"

"Do you realise it's been eighteen months since you shouted 'eureka'?"

Lab Sponsorship.

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'Even with some fraud thrown in, it didn't work.'

'Sir, is the stuff we learn in this experiment supposed to go into our long or short term memory?'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

"Our research is solidified, but our funding has vaporized."

'I've just discovered a drug Keith Richards hasn't taken...'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

'We'll have the project ready by tomorrow. R&D is just working out the kinks.'

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

Nuclear Confusion

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

Science vs. Literature, an Eternal Battle.

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"