Lab Lover Gifts

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

'My research cover two fields: the behavior of matter under high pressure, and the behavior of scientists under high pressure.'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

'I find it harder and harder to get any work done with all the ethicists hanging around.'

'Oh no. More lab results.'

Control and Out of Control Group

'Our research shows that heredity and environment are both very significant, but that neither is as important as government regulation.'

"You can't keep running in here demanding date every five years!"

"Whatever it is, it's very, very little."

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

A candidate for a job in scientific research being tested for whether she is too impressionable for unbiased independent thinking.

'I'm certainly in no hurry to find a cure and lose our grant.'

"That's just great. I discover the cure for the common cold and all you can do is criticize."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"That must have been the paradigm shift."

'It's all right.. he's a trustee.'

'I've forgotten what this experiment is all about.'

"You work in a lab! So you're some kind of scientist?"

Lab Sponsorship.

"Do you realise it's been eighteen months since you shouted 'eureka'?"

"Our research is solidified, but our funding has vaporized."

'Sir, is the stuff we learn in this experiment supposed to go into our long or short term memory?'

'Even with some fraud thrown in, it didn't work.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

"A possible eureka."

'Biggest damn virus I've ever seen!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

'I'm calling maintenance to tell them about the leak in the ceiling. The acid rain is neutralizing our basic research.'

'How soon until we can mass produce the stuff?'

"This sounds impressive. I've been accepted by a prestigious research university."

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

Science vs. Literature, an Eternal Battle.