Lab Dweller Gifts

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

"Hurry up with more eleventh dimension funding!"

'Get a half-life Mrs Curie.'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

The Art Student.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Gen-Next Library

"Oh, this old thing?"

"Author does not do tricks."

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

In case of emergency, break glass.

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'Simply put.'

"I'm going to get you fired."

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Opening the Barrel

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.