Lab Coat Philosopher Gifts

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).

Scientists are sexy

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

Genetic Fingerprinting.

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Plasma Ball

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Plasma Ball

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

"They're harmless when they're alone, but get a bunch of them together with a research grant and watch out."

Frankenfish

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

Ann was shocked and awed when the General kissed her after her presentation and she wondered if he'd heard a word she'd said.

Identifying Scientists by their Lab Coats.

Successful Baseball Teams Rely on a Good Pharm System.

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

Animal Engineering Lab.

'I don't know what happened! All I did was say I went into medicine for the money!'

"I just love the reactions I get every day when I come to work."

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

'The results are far from conclusive, but it does cause cancer in humans.'

Genetic Engineering 'N Things

Knitting is Knirvana.

'If we could just add one more gene to make the skeptical customer trust us.'

'Remember? It's me, Rick. I used to have the probe attached to my brain...'

'I'm testing whether the little blue pill. Will speed up the reproduction process of these organisms.'

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

'I feel much better. I think the cheese treatments must be working.'

'Report cards, folks - and they have to be signed by your high school chemistry teachers.'

It's my latest recombinant DNA project. Are you a man or a mouse?