Lab Coat Enthusiasts Gifts

Studying the effects of little white coats on laboratory rats.

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Scientists are sexy

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Plasma Ball

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

Plasma Ball

"They're harmless when they're alone, but get a bunch of them together with a research grant and watch out."

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

"I feel so seen right now."

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

Ann was shocked and awed when the General kissed her after her presentation and she wondered if he'd heard a word she'd said.

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

"Cloning is all very well in theory, but do you have any proof it can actually work?"

'I didn't exactly write the article, but...well, I didn't exactly do the research either.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

Identifying Scientists by their Lab Coats.