Lab Coat Enthusiast Gifts

"...Leave the new improved and miracle breakthrough stuff to our advertising dept."

"Your son's lab work came back and all of his numbers are in range, except for his pants, which are a bit low."

'The results are far from conclusive, but it does cause cancer in humans.'

Dr. Rorschach makes an important discovery -- he needs a pocket protector.

Mad Scientists Society Dinner Dance - Black Lab Coat required dress.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Scientists are sexy

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point'. Tennyson.'

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

Plasma Ball

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

'I'm growing mini human brains from stem cells.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Plasma Ball

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

"They're harmless when they're alone, but get a bunch of them together with a research grant and watch out."

"I feel so seen right now."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

Ann was shocked and awed when the General kissed her after her presentation and she wondered if he'd heard a word she'd said.

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

'I didn't exactly write the article, but...well, I didn't exactly do the research either.'

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'