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High-gravity baseball

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Ball as water-melon.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

The commentators want to run the officials...

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Baseball Dreams

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Evolution

"You can tatse the slopes, er I mean hops in this."

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

"Looks like Rick's scored."

'If you don't want to see the disgusting spitting, look away now'

'My wife wanted me to get more active in sports, so I signed up or TWO fantasy football leagues.'

Football Pudding

Football Angel

Dog and frog playing football.

"I always thought you blokes were supposed to be impartial."

Football crazy

'It's a tough world, son. You inflate. You get kicked around all your life. Then one day - bam! You deflate.'

'Now remember the ones in white shirts are on our side.'

Teamwork

Football player in penalty line up holds other players willy

'What a wonderful memorable day...Chelsea 2-Arsenal 0.'

Maradona memorial.

Campaign for Surreal Ale.

"And the awards for Best Actor in a Leading Role, Best Costume Design, and Best Sund Coordination... the Anvil!"