Kombucha Skeptics Pillows

Spontaneous Kombucha

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Down With Wikipedia

Documentation Please

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

'No, Neville. I don't think anyone will ever open a burger bar around here. Now, finish your carrion!'

Corporate urban legends

The Humpback Whale . . . or as the Japanese call it, sushi.

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

'French onion soup. Hold the soup.'

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

'You've got me. Is it animal, vegetable or minestrone?'

Truth in Labeling: 'Snouts, lips, jowls, cheeks and viscera enclosed in intestine and served on a bun, Mustard optional.'

"Tell us about yourself, Pete."

"I made a new year's resolution to eat spinach. If I can't stand it, I'll give it up for Lent."

"The good thing about you doing a daily 30 minute walk, is it's 30 minutes when you're not stuffing your face."

"Something tells me we should avoid the sushi here!"

"Now Harold, you know those always give you heartburn."

Help. Forgot All My Account Passwords.

"It was ok, but could be improved by cooking!"

Pink Slime Burger

'How can I be sure I'm getting 100 pure orange juice?' - 'Buy an orange.'

Just Say No to Chicken Soup

'We do not discuss soybeans on these premises, Mrs. Grommet.'

"One of us has to draw the line somewhere, and I draw the line at mall sushi."

"I say it’s not sushi grade and I say we should eat our sandwiches."

Tokin' in the 1960s & Now

"You know, I really, really, don't like ethnic restaurants."

'getlost@youloser.com is that your real email address?'

"I saw this video where a half eater American looks exactly the same after being left out for 6 months."

Smelly fish.