Knowledge Seekers Gifts

"And you need to know this why?"

"OK, who can tell me why it's important to know stuff."

'Well, it's official. The entire catalogue has to be dumbed down again!'

"If nature abhors a vacuum, why is the universe so full of it?"

If you want everybody to know something: Censor it.

Back to School

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"You're holding the paper upside down, Kevin. . ."

"Hang on, if our life expectancy is 3 months and winter is 8 months away, why should I waste my time storing food for winter?"

"A couple of my students are actually taking notes."

Weapens of Mass Instruction

"Good morning class. Are you ready to continue expanding your intellectual property?"

Psychology: Module 1 . . . . Attention span.

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

Lion statue attacking the patrons of the New York Public Library.

Institute for Continuous Research (all-niters our specialty)

'A warm welcome to graduating students, distinguished faculty and impoverished parents...'

Men reading the morning paper on the train

"You kids think Tea Tree oil grows on trees?? Tea trees?? Well, you're wrong!! It's extracted from the leaves of trees in the family myrtaceae, bred in the plantations of New South Wales!!!"

Community College. History's a lot more fun if you think of it as gossip.

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Eternal Student.

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

The Bookworm

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Feel free to take notes."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Historical memory is on life support.