Know-it-all Vibes T-Shirts

"Honey, Quick! Look At These Idiots Living Without My Opinion!"

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

"He's gonna be bad for business."

Home Working

Hipness Replacement Surgery.

"Sure makes a change from New York!"

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

"I know there are a few things I don't understand, but second grade should take care of that."

"No, actually the viola is played more like this."

Jimi Hendrix

"He's my relative from Hawaii."

'Tonight's real is estate news is very discouraging. Viewer discretion is advised.'

'Look at me!! I'm standing!! I'm standing!!!'

'Isn't this the paper that everybody reads?'

Too-Much-Coffee Table.

"Every time he's right, he does that."

The 'relaxing at home ' outfit.

'That Jimmy is sickening!'

'Cleverclogs here has all the answers but never the right ones!'

Trivia night - the arrival of God causes worry amongst the other competitiors.

"Must you always have an answer?"

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

"Think back! Where is the last place you remember having your mojo?"

'When is the world going to realize that we know everything?!'

"All the latest scientific research seems to indicate that I'm right about everything."

'You should've called first - given me a chance to not be home.'

'I don't need them. My wife knows everything.'

'Dear Auntie, thanks for the set of encyclopedias...'

"That just shows how little you know."

'We have no use for an encylopedia in this house. My husband thinks he knows everything.'

Society of Optimists