Know-it-all Connoisseur T-Shirts

'That Jimmy is sickening!'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

Moliere

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

"You're wise, but you lack tree smarts."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"Stan is one of our great, widely unread literary treasures."

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Blue wine

Paul Verlaine

"Hi honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We're almost out of poetry."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

HP Sauce/HP Lovecraft

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

"Of course no one is drinking the wine - it's the Murder Mystery Writers Association."

Warning Wisecracks or good-natured barbs alcohol maybe hazardous to your health,