Knock-knock Joke Fan Pillows

'Who's there?'

Shampoo.

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Traffic Jam

"Who's there?" "Who's askin'!?"

"Banana who?"

"It only takes one barrister, but there must be a solicitor present."

What salt shakers find amusing

"Not responding to a knock-knock joke isn't proof he's unconscious."

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

"Never lend money to anyone over 90."

Getting the Finger

"I'm sure we've met before... don't tell me your name... don't tell me..."

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

Seltzer paste.

"You're distant today..."

Sworn Anenome

Spring Ambushed

"Stop whining- I'm also an only child."

Taxidermist Pugilist.

'Disorganized Crime.'

'Don't look at me that way, I am allergic to being eaten.'

"My doctor just told me to lose 30 pounds. Rufus, Teeny...you're fired."

'Good morning boys and girls. Today's lesson is 'running'...sounds simple, but humans make it much more complicated!'

'Sorry about that. Put my golf gloves on by mistake'

Did you feel that, Randy? I think I was an earthquake. Tough to tell, little buddy. I had just come up with an idea for a new book in my "Randy's MAN-uals" series. The working title would be "The Back-Hair Formula: How to Ensure Your Inner Beast is a Lion, Not a Woolly Mammoth" I'll have to shorten that, of course. The earth often shakes when I get a good idea. Well, my mind was completely blank at the time, so ... pretty sure it was an earthquake.

"I'm not crossing the road. I'm waiting for an Uber."

"Knock knock."

'There!...NOW do you believe the phone's engaged?!'

A man stands over a dead chicken as it tried to cross the road - "Why?!"