Knight (metaphorical) T-Shirts

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Swiss army knife

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Joust Sharpener

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"Who ordered a pizza?"

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

Beware of the Dragon

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'