Kitsh Collector T-Shirts

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

Out of kilter.

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

Sister Cities

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"I'd say business was brisk."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Don't put that on. You're wearing this shirt today."

"I wonder what this was for."

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

'How old is this vase?'

Backdoor

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Enrico from Lucia di Lammermoor

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."