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Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 12.

'Thank-you God.'

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

Scottish party

Out of kilter.

'Och lye the news'

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

The Scottish Lawn

Scot holding a heart.

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

'I bought one and got one free! Best of all, they're both pregnant.'

"Don't put that on. You're wearing this shirt today."

Stable boys and Scottsman

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"How many is too many?"

Enrico from Lucia di Lammermoor

Paisley isn't either the new plaid!

Highland Pipe Band Drum Major

'Excuse me, what do you wear under your kilt?' - 'Shoes and socks.'

"I've got a real, real, real, real plaid feeling."

People Holidaying in the Highlands

Scottish Bank Holiday Weather

'You're lucky-you've the knees for it.'

Scot's beer.

'If I want another drink I will have another drink, I wear the trousers in our house...'

Scottish Birthday

'I'd like to report a sporran-snatcher.'

"Honest. My kilt's at the cleaners."

"This is the new pre-season, post game, after lunch but before 4 PM kit!"

New England kit arriving today - "What time's rip-off ?"