Kitchen Wit Pillows

"Chef, one of the customers is asking where we pick our fresh fungi"

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'She's only a passing fancy, luv but you're a good cook!'

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Snowprov

Backfire

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Czarcasm

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Doggone

Cake Friday!

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Toast: the high energy food

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

The Perfect Foil

'Cooking'

Witch's Brew.

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Cookery Lesson.

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

The Frankenstein snowman.