Kitchen Transformer Pillows

"I've been trying for ages to get that old skinflint to buy me a modern cooker!"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

Nothing is Lost Everything is Transformed.

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Boy baking a cake.

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

'How are we going to achieve our goal this year?'

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

A day in the life of a dish sink

UFO = Unidentified frying object.

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

Thanksgiving: The holiday where aluminum foil is king!

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

Spatula Conductor