Kitchen Tasks Pillows

Cat Chores

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Counting ribs

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Too much cilantro

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

Salt and Pepper

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Chef copy robot

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

The Perfect Foil

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Culinary surgery.

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.