Kitchen Tactician Gifts

Chess Chef

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

Genius

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

"As you can see, Simpson, I'm not the sort of man who's afraid of confrontation...that is you isn't it, Simpson?"

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."

"I didn't mean to burn any bridges behind me. It was just a part of my crumbling infrastructure."

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

Office De-cluttering

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

CEO.

'Careful. You still have that new-employee smell.'

This Amount of Computer Code

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

Kangaroo to upside down joey: 'Once again your room is in total disarray!'

Linda sets a pick, allowing Dave a clear path to the last doughnut.

'Yes, I did give it an oil change myself. I changed to a healthy low calorie oil with no transfats.'

Wi-Fi password?

"I'm adding the laundry room and kitchen to your GPS. Judging by all the clothes and dishes in your room, you don't know the locations."

Moon Vacuuming

'I'd call it a conversion.'

'How are you at looking guilty? - We need to hire a scapegoat.'

Teddy! Clean up your room! Twig! Time to empty the dishwasher. Apparently they're not voice-activated.

"I'm having all unwanted emails go to an Uncle Spam folder."

'O.K. you've made your point - take an extra 1/2 hour for lunch.'