Kitchen Strategist Gifts

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"And that's the real difference between summer and winter. Saucepans. Lots of saucepans."

"To reinforce my diet, the mirror goes on the fridge."

'Perhaps you could move the refrigerator a little further from the kitchen table.'

"I guess it all comes down to how much you want that cup of tea."

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Cake Friday!

The Perfect Foil

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Witch's Brew.

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'Cooking'

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Cookery Lesson.

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"I'm starving! How long will dinner be?"

Funky Chef 2

Beauty and the Baste

Roasted Peppers

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'