Kitchen Juggler Gifts

In the supermarket

'Treat yourself to a game of pot black.'

'What a tosser.'

'You still haven't quite got metric figured out, have you?'

"If Labor Day is supposed to be a day off for workers to spend time with their families...I think Tia Carmen needs a day off from Labor Day."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

To do before Saturday...

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

'Save us!'

"First break since 2008."

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Baby On Boardroom

Acclaimed mother.

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

Balancing Family and Work

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - You'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Brickie's Mate

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."