Kitchen Gadget Researcher Pillows

Dicing with death.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

GMOs: The Next Generation

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"You're never home."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

The secret lives of household things.

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"To toast!"

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

Onion Guillotine

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.