Kitchen Dramatists T-Shirts

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Like death by salad.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'I was in the catering corps.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'It's all homemade.'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

Chef copy robot