Kitchen Dramatists T-Shirts

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'I was in the catering corps.'

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

The Perfect Foil

'It's all homemade.'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

Chef copy robot

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'