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'This is the last time we come to this homestyle restaurant.'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

The Perfect Foil

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'After you with the camouflage.'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"Wait. Let it breathe."

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

"What will change my life?"

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"How was the food sir?"

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

"How's everything?"

"Here are Monsieur Limace, our sommelier, Monsiere Juron, chef de Cuisine and Mr Kruigshenk, specialist for the beheading of breakfast eggs."

Now squeeze sharply five times - that should dislodge the tip from his coat pocket.

Tinguely, Jean. Homage to the Dinner Party Mother Spent Months Preparing. Performance Piece. 1926.

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."