Kitchen Drama Aficionado Pillows

"Irene's mother warned her about marrying split pea soup."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

Cook and her Maids

"It'll never be ready in time."

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

Mistress Talking to Maid

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

Difference between regular and French onion soup? "When I serve the French onion soup, I sneer."

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

Russian eggs.

"How's everything?"

'As you see, the wine breaks down the veal and the vegetables almost immediately--as for your lens cover, I can't really say.'

"I knew it was a mistake to order our wedding cake from your ex-husband's bakery!"

'I don't want a free coffee, I want that chef out of the country!'

"Your food should be out shortly - just waiting for the exterminators to finish mopping up."

'Sorry...I forgot to mention i'm Dishlexic.'

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."